i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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