I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
