I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
