I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
