who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
