i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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