I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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