help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
