he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
