either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
