Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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