Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
