Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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