I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
MIDGETS
????
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
