OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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