I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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