Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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