She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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