Do vagina's smell?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
