he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
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I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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