you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
