we have officially lost it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
