im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize