Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
