Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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