are you still at the devil's house?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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