We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
