Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
