I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
