Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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