so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
