i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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