i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
