I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
