u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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