Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
