If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
