What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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