So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
