You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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