i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
