i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize