Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I came so hard my ears popped.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
