Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
