puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
