apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i out mim tonsoeep
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