he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
