can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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