He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
