your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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