Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
