You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
