So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
