my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We need a shit load of segways right now
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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