:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
