With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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