There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Randomize
