I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
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Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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