They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
