Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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