dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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