i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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