i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
please don't ironically join a cult
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