I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
