Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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