I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
