I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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