I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
