i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
